Very clear sky tonight only two clouds In the ink we’re floating above the water Not winded like they usually are motioned We’re sitting on the concrete spur watching The sea pass us by pass in front pass The pebbles to our feet licking toes Dragging us off into the current the lift Air passes by our coats forelorn our t-shirts The clouds are joining now that they see We bathe in the moonlight glitter the eyes Seed ears on the rocks cold hard on the soles Never lack for warmth after dark when the Moon speaks your name / in my mouth And when the sun burns the same words too Fit this skin but there the clear sky
then we’re back at the bar, this little shanty place in the brown below and shade of a steel bridge, open, food stalls, picnic benches, but quiet or even private this big guy I know walks in ahead and is throwing his weight around again, he pulls this pistol out from the usual place and starts waving it before long he’s shooting me a few times like he does, a few bullets in the arms, especially the shoulders, some go through and some stay, I stand and take it for a while but it’s not just me, and I’m angry but it’s not just me, this other man who came in with us, he makes it bigger than just me and big bull, I walk up to the bull and take his gun, point it into his forehead and whatever snarls he had becomes this calm visage, he smiles, there’s an acceptance, a desire for death, a kind of only mildly suppressed self knowledge here, almost stripped bare, the fact of a gun barrel in the folds on your forehead, at least, that’s how it all seems I misfire He takes the gun back and points it at me, I guess sad, I guess angry, I guess usual Suddenly I have to decide whether to make my peace, and I suppose I have to, if death is coming I think I can’t panic and piss myself and shit and scream out, no, I think I have to be calm and look down the barrel and look down the eyes so we both know the score, and everything that dies can die peacefully He misfires The gun is empty.
Pale those fingertips on the cut glass Swirling textures that rub the snake Crack dividing truth like flesh I thought you trusted now cold lips Sticking as they part over white sheets We lie straight in the blue half light I drop an unwelcome plank a leg On your blue I pull it back the way Whatsapp messages are deleted You talk you smile you kissed are Accusations from between my cheeks Where the tongue moved your fingers Should have touched like the glass Canyon that cuts them as I type Away the last drops before the stop
Flap rubber and canvas on the concrete spent You stride as ballet holding the bear warm Close below your ribs and bunny ears on Tattered sleeves pass cold pillars hold the sky Echos whistling through your headphones Skip in your step the bright lights in the dark Shadows in the day slap the fuzz awake some Shinflesh in the gravel I wish I could lay these Lips on your lids and breathe the feeling thru Your teeth as it fizzes my veins as it touches These fingers but it lands off hides beneath a Tongue burrows in the wax and whine we Wear our old badges that remember death worse
Another you You looked into my eyes and sold me shoes You looked into my eyes You got inside me and made me want When you finished even you didn’t want me You smiled and laughed and I bought the shoes beneath Your raised eyebrows But at that time you had a she who you loved
Then some time later I came to you again An initiate And I was lost in my mind as you played Music I drank until I could never be full again And you played on And you began to see how I cared
I wanted to help you selling drinking listening Every part of you I wanted gave way To something deeper Every part of you I tried to build up with me You smiled and laughed and I brought the shoes Beneath your raised eyebrows
We lived for centuries moments corrupt with love To last lifetimes we lived I lived for you You’ve seen this And all in quiet brown wood and cotton and wool All in these ancient fabrics and the root of all colours Your words are the sweetest rose thorns
We’re sitting at the bar and you take the one with most Bubbles and I have the remainder that tastes Tinted with your touch I Imagine things We enjoy the places between oblivions Bookended like that they’re the only life
That springs to rub along sides Grasp and hold in warm places You thought some libertine’s Evening that these bodies Would stop your capturing So wanton a hare as this Loose on your lot and holding My hips some sachets of condiment Served for this blissful moment Ghosts possess the mind’s eye Totemic emblems are tossed
The fact of a mythological meeting Is always lost whether In faerie caverns or converted Bedrooms the feel of my flesh Between your fingers recedes Dreamt away with the flaccid joy Of distinctly female caresses Needing to be touched The alarm clock and the bottle unfinished The questions dissolved in ultraviolet daylight
A dark Soho street or wherever there’s some red light Basement drinking wine bars with charming waiters Conversation and red blood flowing in the town’s Ghost rivers that drown below the pavements but really I mean the moonlight and the yellow street lamps and You taking me to a place telling me what wines to buy Sometimes I just want to be a girl a woman like the way They said like romance and broken hearts unwanted Pregnancies I just want your voice in my ears and you In front of me in your subtle way and smelling the wine That has been in your mouth and looking up and down
A harsh reality that unfolds like out of a song the wine Dragging us away into some den of iniquity by which We mean a side street with the lights out and the tall Men in the street with their air of knives feeding drunk Me for which you will be required to pay because I’m your lady and knives and later we walk through Endless bunker corridors of a block of flats of rooms In this safety on this rough blue carpet in your sweet bed The look in your eyes you understood what’s in me You saw me and liked me you knew me and gave me up For shame and that’s all there is it is now ended and I’m not alone but I’m not with you and I want you Sometimes but otherwise it’s just more of the same
I’m drowning or floating badly beneath the water swim shoals depression booze seratonin screens above the water like an iceberg the booze also looms promising sanctuary when my fingers touch the cold island they freeze to it then slip and burn as I plunge back below
The orange or red rising thru blue night And how it chases dreams away from Tired eyes you can’t see how it wakes In you when you don’t want to raise your Head from a pillow or low shoulders These birds with their necessary beauty Like a carefully chosen alarm ringtone But better and how the night lights of Your room dim in the coming day the Wifi box once so bright or broken party Fake candles or candles or lava lamps How a morning saliva gathers in your Mouth like the sun is meat like the day Is flesh and how eyes ache to behold Such wonders after a whole world of Day and night gone by yes under the Right circumstances dawn feels like You’ve lived too long and refuse to stop.
The morning bird: Singing into the fog of early dew, cutting the dull Dank clouds with velvet wings, sharp as knives. I watch her between the long, easy breaths of branches And their leafy veils, following her flight through A tunnel of clear dry air until all begins to soak With mourning tears whilst the fields and woodland Stir, and somewhere I catch her mounted by a fairy, Driven down underneath the roots to elven kingdoms.
I drop into my puddle of lost veils: here below, Where the leaves are sweet with fire colours. They stare out from their spines. They crackle Like rotted twigs in the wind, or tiny bones.